HUMAN SEXUALITY Reflections on Sex  Reflections on Sex     Homosexuality/Abuse     Homosexuality/Gender Alternative Views reflectionssex_humansexuality_humanissues_thegoldenrivernet_updates_02/0/2017_06/16/2016  top of page/menu “Simple Sex”, A Dance With the Great Mystery or A Crisis of the Abusive   Views here have a protect children directive with a liberal approach otherwise Potential land mines infused with incendiary, complex and chaotic trajectories, this discussion is opinion driven, but reflects the tone of the entire website. It is believed here that core reasons underlying self-trashing also manifest as earth-trashing; in other words, people harm the earth because they themselves have been harmed or otherwise were not sufficiently nurtured in their upbringing.  In addition, they were not guided or trained to think of the earth as a precious commodity worth handling with gentle care when building homes, developing businesses and handling ingoing resources or outgoing waste. Non-nurtured people become non-nurturing people.  One of the first places people are not nurtured adequately is in their earliest childhood experiences.  Human sexuality is deeply part of human life.  Although sex may seem a topic far removed from Environmentalism, it is in fact closely connected, because human sex life usually follows a pattern found throughout the entire behavior of a person.  In addition, drugs and alcohol are discussed here because unbalanced body chemistries may increase self- trashing, which also may lead to earth-trashing.  Sad, sick, out of whack humans create equally unhealthy and unhappy environments.  If an area is heavy in drugs, alcohol, domestic violence and sexual abuse, it is likely the look and feel of the surrounding environment reflects this. Use safe sex, know the dangers    Provide clear and detailed sex education to children for their protection Report child sex abuse immediately, silence is its own type of crime Children have sexual urges and proclivities too, and this should not be misused Sex happens A society should not try to control what goes on in other people’s bedrooms unless it is abusive or dangerous.  This becomes difficult when people choose to make violence part of their sexual recreation.  Sexual activities should be part of a balanced and healthy lifestyle promoting self-worth and a sense of naturally sustainable happiness. Sexual abuse of children or minors is never acceptable and must be punished to the full extent of the law.  There are no gray zones.  People who stand by watching or knowing about child abuse need to be held accountable to the full extent of the law. Homosexuality: Innate or Chosen? Endless debates occur whether homosexuality is innate or chosen.  Many believe it’s just how they are. Whether it is a life of homosexuality or heterosexuality, it is one’s personal business unless criminal abuse is involved.  Each person of any race, male or female, rich or poor, with high or low education, is a unique being with the inherent right to be treated fairly and with consideration of their human dignity and feelings.  Here homosexuality is viewed as an unquestioned human rights issue, but in the real world, much of it may be coming at us in a mixed zone of influence and manipulation.  We can ask ourselves if homosexuality at times has some other human rights issues (child abuse, negative cultural programming) lurking behind the surface; questioning homosexuality does not make us hostile to, nor judgmental of, homosexuals.  When we watch the excellent film Two Spirits (Director Lydia Nibley, http://twospirits.org/) we see that built into the Navajo world view, culture and spiritual traditions the idea of two spirits in one body.  An individual, deemed special in many ways, may come into this life with two spirits, or two genders; they can male in a female body, or female in a male body.  Although this depiction here in English more than likely cannot do justice to what is probably a complex and profound topic for the Navajo, the film and this brief discussion at least gets the idea out there that what western culture might see as a pathology or a dysfunction is a widely accepted practice in other cultures: homosexuality might be seen as a blessing and not a blemish.   The people who are expressing their realities as multifaceted gender within one body may be very intelligent and gifted and may have something very important to teach and share with the rest of us; just by being around them, we may be enlightened and shifted. It is not being suggested, therefore, that all homosexuality is bad or dysfunctional by any means.  What is being suggested here is that what may have been originally a culturally accepted tradition and practice among the Navajo and other peoples on this planet may have become twisted and broken down by the white-Christian-male dominated platform as the white culture used its “manifest destiny” expansionism/proselytizing practices on every culture it came across as it spread.  The two spirit concept needs to be also taken into consideration with the domination/submission and child sexual abuse paradigm to peel back the truth today about what is really going on behind some, much or even possibly most homosexuality as we find it around us in our lives.  Much homosexuality today may have an abuse pattern behind it.  We need to be able to look at this honestly and with open eyes.  This does not mean the Navajo or any other two spirit cultural concept is wrong; it means we may have other factor in today’s real world. True Personal Choice About Sexual Orientation May Have Been Tampered With Early On Certain forms of homosexuality may not stem ultimately from personal choice but from early childhood ritualistic brainwashing and abuse; people may think they are inherently homosexual when in fact they are not; early childhood memories may be lost; it is likely in many cases a now homosexual adult was sexually approached early in childhood with the end result jumbled hardwire of the emotional, mental and physical aspects. The interconnected components of that person’s psyche may have been twisted to the point they cannot separate Self from Other, with Other being the abuser and his/her approaches and behaviors. Internal programming may run so deep a person cannot consciously separate from it.  Free will may have been degraded before the person had a chance to find Self.  True personal choice may have experienced interference before cognitive maturity of the brain and emotional base.  Consider the Possibility That Homosexuality Is Probably Morally Neutral This is not to say homosexuality is wrong or always misguided, or that it needs to be repaired as if someone is a broken car.  Nor is it to say that a homosexual person cannot identify Self from Other and have a balanced homosexual life later if abuse did in fact occur.  It is just that many people probably need more therapy and understanding on these topics, and it is likely that many homosexuals probably should delve more deeply and carefully into possible early childhood abuse topics.  This runs against the general liberal trend of live/let live or anything goes.  This is because there is too much literature out indicating that widespread cultish child abuse regimes have been at large both in this country and in the world to the point it may be swaying public opinion and politics to the point we cannot even ask if there is a problem in the homosexual political community.  When we cannot ask questions anymore for fear of coming across as judgmental or homophobic, this is a problem in itself.  It is OK to question the roots and outcomes of homosexuality in one’s own self and in others while not being judgmental of homosexuality itself.  The general act of homosexuality is probably morally neutral.  Anal Sex: A Taboo Topic Needing Open Dialogue Where anal sex is involved, germs, tears and abrasions and an energy/biochemical shift may occur.  The physical act of something moved through the anal canal while creating arousal and orgasm is probably the number one reason men start behaving differently: there is an energy/biochemical shift.  Rather than seeing this as evil, we need to accurately connect with what is actually going on with people when they have sex in their anuses.  Taking it from the taboo and disgust arena into a type of communication and reasoning which utilizes common sense and matter- of-fact verbalizing helps to get things out in the open; many people are disturbed greatly by this topic.  It is a hot button. For this reason, we don’t have enough sex education and awareness on the topic so as to protect people and to break away from paranoia. Either way, homosexuals may need to work on these things honestly and without defensiveness or aggression.  It does not mean they need to change their lifestyle, it just means they probably have more personal work on themselves to do than many of them - not all - are ready to admit.  This whole topic is a can of worms for many people; it really lights people up.  Without enough dialogue on this, too many people may go without therapy, may not have the courage to speak out if they have a problem of abuse with this in their life, and many children may not be protected with enough information to set up clear boundaries for themselves.  In addition, partners who experiment with this or have it as a reoccurring common part of their sexual life may not adequately discuss their true feelings or protect themselves.  Prostitutes may be seriously harmed by repeated anal sex which leaves them with ongoing bleeding and openness to disease. Masturbation - Another Often Taboo Topic Masturbation is a healthy and normal way to release sexual energy and tension.  Many people put this topic on a shelf called “Weird”, “Disgusting” or “Sick.”   It can be a source of ridicule, shame and rejection if people find out someone masturbates.  It’s really a hot button for some people.  Sometimes if partners find out the other one masturbates, their feelings are hurt - they feel maybe they are not doing something right.  Some people feel that it is a matter of morality or honor - a person should let someone else provide the pleasure mechanism for sex; it is considered people should not do it for themselves.  Some people sneak, others out in the open but use that openness as a kind of course demeanor or continuum of porn. People may masturbate in front of each o at which point it is a part of the overall sexual exchange and is not considered dirty or bad.  Some people don’t care if people know they masturbate; others are truly embarrassed over the issue. Masturbation may be used as part of certain energy healing traditions to stimulate hormone production and encourage health and longevity (Reiki, qigong, etc.). As with any sexual practice, use good hygienic habits - wash your hands with hot water and soap afterward, keep your bed, linens and underwear fresh from body fluids emitted during sex and after orgasms.  Use a common sense and matter of fact approach to the real nature of sexual outputs - men release sperm, women release lubricating body fluids and, during periods, blood.  Clean up after yourself and acknowledge odors left in the room after either partner sex or masturbation - open a window, use good ventilation, etc. especially if there are children in the house who may enter that room later.  Hidden Child Sexual Abuse Structures Widespread In USA & World In addition, there is a strong possibility that a type of hidden abuse structure running throughout the United States and the world (as in child kidnappings, porn rings, subversive operations, Catholic Church problems, etc. may be warping true clear thought on this complex topic.  It is one thing to be open-minded (as in Straight But Not Narrow bumper stickers and slogans) but it is another thing to be part of a problem that is not fully disclosed to all people adequately.  When there is inadequate public disclosure about a widespread hidden child sexual abuse problem, people may be thinking they are liberal for the right reasons, when in fact they may be part of a problem and not know it.  Again, this is not suggesting that liberal behavior is wrong or that homosexual behavior is always the result of child sexual abuse, but what is being suggested is that we all need to be careful about this entire topic and not assume too much one way or another too quickly. Homosexuality Still Finds Itself In a Hostile World Homosexuality continues to receive hostility and discrimination in many parts of the United States and in the world.  San Juan County and parts of La Plata County still experience anti-homosexual behavior to the point it may wind up in violence as was portrayed in the award winning film Two Spirits (http://twospirits.org/) about a gay Navajo teen who was brutally murdered in Cortez, Colorado by a white male from Farmington.  Please notice that this film, mentioned also elsewhere on this website, may be prone to the same subjectivism and dramatic sway as any other film, but that we can derive information, insight and other benefits from it.  Music, emotionally driving content, incomplete information or background on the victim, etc. may support more of a one-sided view than some of us may realize as we watch the film; for example, the film does not give us enough information about the victim’s early life to know whether or not he was sexually abused in childhood.  There are still men in San Juan County, for example, who indicate firmly they were raised to honor their masculinity and that they are uncomfortable around homosexual men.  Both Young Males and Females Need to Be Protected Until They Sufficiently Mature: Boundaries, Education Needed What is suggested here is that when dealing with this difficult topic, we need to stay clear of paranoia or subconscious fears, but we also want young males to be self-protective against unwanted sexual approaches until such time as they are mature enough to make wise choices for themselves.  We don’t want them to wind up another victim, and we want them to learn to maintain firm boundaries for themselves.  This is part of a much needed sexual education program which should be available for both males and females from a young age in our modern society.  Males as much as females need to have excellent sex education in the home starting at a young age.  There are many ways that both males and females can be gotten at sexually before they are ready, and parents need to be awake and educated.  Good communication with children regarding sex education is a must. Sex Education About Diseases Vital Homosexuality is well known to have a highly increased chance for sexual diseases, especially among the male population and among promiscuous females.  People need to have outstanding education about the personal and public risks involved.  Taking time to care enough to give the information to others is half the battle; we all get busy in our lives and may not spend the appropriate necessary attention with our children to inform them - and ourselves - about diseases.  In addition, people get lazy or find themselves lost in the moment of their sexual passions to the point they don’t use safe sex practices.  We need to teach ourselves to plan ahead and slow down, so when the heat of sexual excitement, relationship allure, or otherwise romantic allure have us enchanted in the moment, we have a process in advance we know we will adhere to.  Sometimes the simple matter of pulling out a condom seems difficult for couples to do because they don’t have one around, they feel it breaks down intimate and sensory contact between people, and because of the rush of the moment.  In addition, people don’t always disclose the diseases that they have to other partners.  What Does a Healthy Relationship Look Like? Whether a relationship is heterosexual or homosexual, bisexual, monogamous or open, is there a sense of rapport or friendship between the partners?  Do they have shared visions and mutual support for things like life purpose, economics, and education? Do they have feelings of camaraderie and communication so that there is open and even dialogue between the partners? Are people talking about their feelings, getting things out on the table, airing their laundry?  Do they have good give and take? Is the rest of the life looking OK?  Life problems being solved together, economics working out OK between the partners?  How are taking care of at least the basics doing, like housing, transportation, food and clothing?  Are these things finding themselves into the life ways of the partners so that there is a sense that there is at least enough and that things feel basically safe and emotionally, physically mentally healthy in the home? If we think about this in terms of souls or beings, are the two souls deriving some kind of deep intimacy with each other which makes them deeper people, people feeling a higher level of connectivity to another living person in such a way it enhances life, provides elevated feelings of love, deeper levels of sharing?  In other words, is their something in the connection which gives the person a more satisfied and meaningful sense of relationship per se?  Is the relationship creating meaning and connectivity in such a way that the individual gains deeper and more satisfying insights into Self, Other and All of Life?  Does the relationship make time on Planet Earth happier, less lonely, more sustaining, and filled with a sense of liking and love, hope and vitality,  goals and purpose?  Does the person somehow have more to give while being in that relationship, as if the sense of fulfillment there radiates outward to the rest of that person’s life and the world?  Is creativity and education heightened?  Is trust developed between people so that it also can reflect outward or become an example to the rest of the world?  When people learn to work with each other on deep intimate levels, this can then be a known developed feeling translatable to others parts of life and other people.  Once people learn to love and share deeply between themselves while ironing out differences and kinks, they become happier, they may become more loving and and more giving global citizens.  Good relationships may make for healthier communities, nations and the planet. Domination/Submission Issues People need to be careful about watching out for domination and submissions issues in sex.  Some people make this an expected norm within their sex culture; they take for granted some people are more naturally dominant and others are more submissive.  There are types of recreational sexual violence which include this concept within their framework.  Homosexual culture often uses this to separate out the more butch or masculine types from the more feminine types in both sexes.  There is a whole diverse set of cultural themes, symbols and language built around these ideas.  People not familiar with these things or the expectations of any particular cultural group using what is typically thought of as non-mainstream sexual behavior may find themselves over their heads.  People may be saying one thing and meaning another.  It is a good idea to have a therapist, police officer, detective or other person looking into a child abuse situation with some familiarity with that person’s culture or things may be misunderstood or missed; in addition, the people involved may not feel there is a sufficient level of empathy, understanding or knowledge to help them. Children surrounded by these complex themes may learn a whole different set of rules and expectations than most of the rest of society, so when trying to help, converse with them, provide therapy or otherwise extricate them from an abusive or dangerous situation people need to know of the ambiguities and complexities which may be both expressed and not expressed in the environment from which they come.  In addition, adults who are still living with unhealed parts of themselves from earlier childhood abuse may find that the language/culture  from that era in their lives does not blend well with “normal” versions of expression or knowing - what they went through as kids may have been so dark or different they may feel very few people can relate or help.  Adults may go for many years without speaking up or even knowing how to verbalize their feelings and their past experiences.  Blocked emotions may lead to further abuse or self-sabotaging behaviors.  Part of the behavior behind domination/submission themes may be connected to early childhood abuse in which the child felt dominated by an abuser who was probably at least one of the following: larger, heavier, angry, emotional, verbally negative, manipulative, unpredictable, etc.  Bullies and butch types may have a need to express domination or excessive strength to overcome feelings of insecurity, fear and weakness as may have been played out in earlier abuse scenes.  In addition, gangs may want to push another person to the point the victim says the equivalent of “Uncle” showing submission and giving up.  Bullies or hostile aggressors like this bring the person down or otherwise keep that individual from having self-confidence, self-esteem or a sense of personal power.  People who are not working with positive, life advancing emotions and actions in their lives feel threatened by those who seem to be comparatively OK, successful and productive.  Domination/submission may show itself in arenas like this to try to get everyone down and dirty so no one is left around an area who is healthy, balanced and willing to do the right thing or stand up to destructive behavior.  This behavior can also play itself out in company cultures or in general society.  Pressures to keep people from speaking out, “ratting”, “coming clean”, doing more than is enough to get the job done (ie, exemplary service), being detailed and careful, etc. may be found in police, prison or military culture, union culture, and upper crust legal professions, to name a few places - but it can be found anywhere. Domination/submission, then, can be experienced in a broader sense than just between individuals - it can be seen in how people as a group start to let things slide in a whole town or city, for example, with no one stepping forward to speak up or to do something better.  The unspoken non-action in a community can act as a type of bullying or domination of others who would prefer to do things better or with more fairness to all but are afraid to speak up. Summary Homosexuality with its connection to various forms of sexual acts is probably not wrong or evil.  What people do in the bedroom is their business, but people need to be up front, matter of fact and honest about communicating their experiences and feelings with their partners.  If either partner is being pushed too far, is uncomfortable, is going downhill emotionally and physically, it’s not a good plan to keep up that behavior.  Frank and open discussions about anal sex, for example, should be part of the social culture in the United States in such a way it and other sexually intimate topics are pulled out of the sludge and porn arena into the realms of healthy human behavior.  This means adequately reflecting and responding to human behavior as it actually is, rather than as something it is not by trying to make it into some kind of golden dream found in an old 1950s movie or flowery vestiges of the Romantic era.  Humans have human bodies with smells, hairs, fluids; they have holes and channels (anuses, vaginal canals, mouths) and they have protrusions (penises, breasts, buttocks).  The earthy, animal-side of human-ness needs to be accepted and cherished as much as we cherish the animal-ness of our favorite pets.  Many of us still treat human bodies and their natural by-products as something disgusting and shameful.  People need to be given the right to live in their own skins without being made to feel like strangers in an ugly suit. homosexuality/abuse_sexuality_humanissues_thegoldenrivernet_updates_02/07/2017_06/01/2016   top of page/menu HOMESEXUALITY/ABUSE  Alternative Views on Homosexuality:  Does research prove abuse causes or is linked to homosexuality? Adding link The Problem with the Belief that Child Sexual Abuse Causes Homosexuality / Bisexuality and additional alternative views on the abuse/homoseuxal issue to website: Excerpt: The Problem with the Belief that Child Sexual Abuse Causes Homosexuality/Bisexuality  “The results of this research is inconclusive since some research finds a direct correlation between child abuse and homosexuality (Macmillan, 1997; Tomeo et al, 2001; Holmes et al, 1998; Doll et al, 1992; Soukup, 1995; Shrier et al, 1988; Dickson; Finkelhor, 1984), whereas other research expressly denies any correlational link (Ridley, 2003; Balsam et al 2005; Bell et al, 1981; Hammersmith, 1982; Peters & Cantrall, 1991; Slap, 1998). Clearly, the jury is still out!”  (pandys.org) Excerpt: A major study of child abuse and homosexuality revisited June 5, 2009 by Warren Throckmorton The role of child sexual abuse in sexual orientation has received some attention lately. In January of this year, a prospective study demonstrated that child sexual abuse was associated with ever engaging in adult homosexual behavior for males but not for females. The study by Widom and Wilson demonstrated that physical abuse or neglect did not associate with homosexuality, nor did sexual abuse predict same-sex cohabitation or current sexual partner. http://www.patheos.com/blogs/warrenthrockmorton/2009/06/05/a-major-study-of-child-abuse-and-homosexuality-revisited/ Excerpt: Facts About Homosexuality and Child Molestation In a similar fashion, gay people have often been portrayed as a threat to children. Back in 1977, when Anita Bryant campaigned successfully to repeal a Dade County (FL) ordinance prohibiting anti-gay discrimination, she named her organization "Save Our Children," and warned that "a particularly deviant-minded [gay] teacher could sexually molest children" (Bryant, 1977, p. 114). [Bibliographic references are on a different web page] In recent years, antigay activists have routinely asserted that gay people are child molesters. This argument was often made in debates about the Boy Scouts of America's policy to exclude gay scouts and scoutmasters. More recently, in the wake of Rep. Mark Foley's resignation from the US House of Representatives in 2006, antigay activists and their supporters seized on the scandal to revive this canard. It has also been raised in connection with scandals about the Catholic church's attempts to cover up the abuse of young males by priests. Indeed, the Vatican's early response to the 2002 revelations of widespread Church cover-ups of sexual abuse by priests was to declare that gay men should not be ordained. http://psychology.ucdavis.edu/faculty_sites/rainbow/html/facts_molestation.html Excerpts: Can Childhood Sexual Abuse Cause Homosexuality? Richard B. Gartner, PhD, Training and Supervising Analyst, Faculty and Founding Director of the Sexual Abuse Program at the William Alanson White Institute, wrote in his Jan. 30, 2011 article "Talking about Sexually Abused Boys, and the Men They Become," available at www.psychologytoday.com: "Finally, when the abuser is male (and even sometimes when she is female), many boys - whether straight or gay - develop fears and concerns about sexual orientation. Conventional wisdom says sexual abuse turns boys gay, although there's no persuasive evidence that premature sexual activity fundamentally changes sexual orientation. Nevertheless, a heterosexual boy is likely to doubt himself, wondering why he was chosen by a man for sex. A homosexual boy may feel rushed into considering himself gay, or may hate his homosexuality because he believes it was caused by his abuse." Excerpt Kali Munro, M.Ed., an online psychotherapist, wrote the following statements in her 2002 article titled "Am I Gay Because of the Abuse?," and posted on her website KaliMunro.com:  “The myth that lesbians and gay men are sexual predators is still very much alive. In a society that links lesbian and gay sexuality with sexual predators, and where there is little or no information for youth about lesbian and gay sexuality, many lesbian and gay survivors assume that sexual abuse by someone of the same sex is what being gay is...” http://borngay.procon.org/view.answers.php?questionID=000029 viewsonsexualexpression/genderalignment_humansexuality_humanssues_thegoldenrivernet_updates_02/09/2017_06/01/2016_top of page/menu ALTERNATIVE IDEAS ABOUT SEXUAL EXPRESSION AND GENDER ALIGNMENT Sometimes we can shift perspective and relate to a concept of androgyny, where we find the place of the soul outside of its physical gender context.  In the case of heterosexuality, we can let go of a gender focus and create an umbrella of energy around both genders, so the male and female share a unified space.  Then we can return to a separation of genders to enjoy what is male, letting it be male, and enjoy what is female, letting it be female.   There are some gender tendencies directly related to the make-up of the body, its structures, hormones and other biochemistries.  Brainwaves can be shared or connected with so the male can teach the female what he knows about being male, and the female can teach the male what she knows; they can share the other side of the coin, so to speak.  Much of what we know and how we apply it depends on culture and how we were raised.  We can ask ourselves about such things as genetics and energy fields around males and females setting the stage for gender proclivities while considering the possibility that some things might be tendencies that, with a little push and pull, can be reshaped, amplified or brought to new directions. Some people believe that gender is real, permanent and might not reflect current physicality.  top of page/menu  
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